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Chuck Norris was here?

By Michael Fumento

Beginning with my first embed, I studied the graffiti inside latrines for signs of a decay in morale. I figured soldiers and Marines would be a lot more honest when scribbling from the can than when interviewed by a reporter -- although in fact on my second trip I did encounter some disgruntled reservists who had no inhibitions. This time, though, I found no political graffiti at all. I did find two racist scribblings, but only two. Mostly, it seems, I found references to Chuck Norris. I saw those last time, too. The Norris references have nothing to do with WWII's "Kilroy was here." They're just silly ditties from guys with a black felt-tip pen and perhaps not enough fiber in their diets. Ahem! Among them:

* Most hand cleaners kill 99.9% of bacteria; Chuck Norris kills 100% of whatever he wants.
* Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
* There is no such thing as global warming; Chuck Norris got cold and turned up the sun.
* Chuck Norris has a beard because razors are scared of his face.
* Chuck Norris died December 18, 1979. Death is too afraid to tell him.

Michael Fumento has paid for this trip entirely out of pocket, including roundtrip airfare to Kuwait, hotels in Kuwait, war insurance, and virtually all his gear. Please support him via PayPal Donate or Amazon Honor System via the logos below.

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October 15, 2006 10:34 PM  ·  Iraq